Blubox Origins
by DracoSlayer95
Summary: When Vert shows up with a strange new friend, Chika is confused, so she tells the tale of how she met the first Blubox. Totally not a reference to anything else. I mean it... Maybe.


With a smile on her face and a song in her heart, Chika Hakozaki danced across the kitchen like a nimble ballerina, as she went about her labors of love. She hummed a little tune to herself as she expertly wisked the batter in the mixing bowl, casually pouring it onto the cooking pan directly afterwards. She watched with a smile as the batter turned into little popping bubbles before giving way to a delicious, bread-like texture.

In a matter of minutes, she stacked a pile of pancakes on top of her finest plate, poured a glass of milk, grabbed some syrup and set them all down on the table as she waited for her beloved to stop in for breakfast. She was half-tempted to strip down and pour the syrup all over _herself_ , but that stuff was way too sticky for her liking... Though, she wouldn't mind saving _that_ idea for later, if Vert was up for it of course.

In any event, the oracle of green took a seat by the table with her own breakfast also ready to go and waited for her special someone to come. It only took a few short minutes of waiting before her keen ears picked up on the sound of footsteps coming closer and closer to the kitchen. Her lips curved upwards into an excited smile.

As soon as she saw a figure making their way into the kitchen, Chika stood up and lunged forward to greet them... Now if only she'd had the foresight to have waited until they were fully in view before rushing to glomp who she thought was Vert...

"Good morning, my dearest, Vert! I took the liberty of making you an extra special batch of pancakes this morning! I made them full of love and with the best batter I could find! All for you my... dar...ling...?"

As her mental faculties slowly returned to her, Chika took a second to look at just who, or what, she had her arms wrapped around. It wasn't Vert. Hell, it wasn't even human. Even someone with eyes as bad as Cave could see that. It was tall... It was blue... It was very dopey... It was... It was...

"...Uwaaah!"

It was so shocking that Chika immediately jumped backwards and pulled a spear out of nowhere and pointed it at the mysterious entity. The tall blue intruder stared in shock, throwing its arms over its head cartoonishly. "Okay, monster! I have no idea how you even got in here, but there's no way you're getting back out! Take this!"

"Gracious, what's with all this commotion so early in the morning?"

Without warning, just as Chika was about to lunge at the odd monster that had invaded her home, who should it be but Vert to walk in between the oracle and blue creature. The oracle of green was barely able to stop herself before she turned the CPU into a cyclops.

"Oh my..." Vert squeaked at the spear just inches from her eye. "Thank you, Chika, for letting me see your spear so close. I see you've been taking very good care of it, now if you could just get it away from my eye..."

"My darling sister," Chika began, obediently moving the pointy tip of her weapon away from Vert and towards the oversized blue creature in their kitchen. A creature who was running around the room like a chicken with its head cut off, at that. "Stand back! I'll take care of this wretched beast!"

"Wait, Chika!" the green CPU cut in, standing directly in the oracle's way. "Look what you've done. You've gone and frightened him. Poor thing."

To the oracle's great surprise, the CPU of green walked over to the strange creature and gave it a comforting pat on the head. The oracle was flabbergasted as her CPU acted as if this was the most normal thing to do. The blue blobby thing smiled a dopey smile, sticking its tongue out and tapping its foot like a dog. Chika wasn't sure how to feel about it...

Chika wasn't sure how to feel about a _lot_ of things right now.

"Um... Dearest?" the greenette began softly.

"Yes, Chika?"

As the blonde CPU turned to face the oracle, Chika contemplated how to best go about figuring out the current situation... "What the hell is that thing and why are you so calm about it?" until she gave up on that entirely and went with the more blunt approach.

"Ah. Well, you see, it all happened just yesterday when I went out to do quests as usual... But before that, why don't we eat? We wouldn't want the pancakes you spent so much time on getting cold, now would we?" The oracle stared wide-eyed for a second, before ultimately nodding her head in approval.

And so, after having breakfast – half of which Vert fed to her new "pet" as it were – the CPU and oracle took a seat as the former told her grand – maybe not _that_ grand – tale of discovery and awe... And frogs.

 **Blubox Origins!**

It all started just yesterday. I was starting to feel a bit chunky, as it had been a while since I'd done any proper exercise, so I decided to take a few quests to help get back into shape.

 _You look wonderful no matter what, my dearest!_

Thank you, Chika, but I have a story to tell.

 _Oh! Yes, of course! Please, do go on._

Yes, now, as I was saying, I had decided to go out questing. I had settled on a simple monster elimination quest out in the Lum Forest. It had been a while since I'd been there, so I was quite excited to see it all again. It was so wonderful; there were dozens of rare plants you could never see anywhere else, overgrowth so thick you could climb it or use it as rope and such clear water, all on top of the great bounty of nature...

Oh! I'm sorry. I seem to have gotten a little sidetracked there.

Ahem! As I said, it was a beautiful place, to be sure. I was able to clear out the monsters with no trouble at all. But as I looked around at the beautiful forest, I had decided to rest my feet at a nearby pond. I sat on top of a stump just by the edge, but as I took off my boot to dip a toe in the water, I heard something that caught my attention.

 **Rrrrrrri-bit! Rrrrrrri-bit!**

Yes, just like that! Thank you, Raymund.

 _That blue thing is a frog...? And its name is Raymund...?_

We'll get to that. As I was saying, the sound of croaking caught my attention, so I went to look around. I made my way to a small lake; many woodland creatures were gathered around to take a sip, and that is where I stumbled upon... a very saggy blue frog.

 _...What? What do you mean? But what about-_

And then it stood up and did a swan dive into the lake.

 _...Oh... Okay...?_

Don't worry, Chika, I was surprised at first, too. I was instantly taken with this odd frog creature, so I took out a notebook from my inventory and began taking notes. A tall, blue, frog-like creature with large hands and almost clownish feet that could squish its own body down to look like a regular, if very saggy frog... With giant clown feet. It was nothing like any creature I'd ever seen before.

I decided to observe as it swam through the lake with great ease. And then, it dolphin jumped out of the water, did a 360 degree twirl in midair and belly flopped back into the water... But I could only bring myself to give it a score of 8 since the execution of the spin left a lot to be desired, though the belly flop was a nice touch.

 _Sister, dearest..._

Yes, Chika, I know...

I continued to watch the odd creature, until it came out of the water minutes later and fancifully strutted away. It was at that point that I'd decided to follow it to see what else I could learn about the majestic creature. I followed after it, using the overgrowth as cover and observed as it went about its business.

I came to find that it was very well acquainted with the forest, as it had no trouble getting around. I followed it to a small clearing, where a lone tree sat, bearing several fruits. I wasn't sure how it would get all the way up there, but just as I thought that, Raymund stepped back a few paces and began running in place. He charged at it like a wild bull and, to my surprise, started running up the side of the tree.

 _Say what?!_

Yes, I was surprised as well. So surprised in fact, that my jaw nearly hit the floor. I watched on in awe as Raymund effortlessly made his way to the top, where he jumped off with great finese and started flapping his arms and glided through the air.

 _HOOOOOOOOW?!_

There are many things about dearest Raymund that defy explanation.

 **Rrrrrrrri-bit!**

 _Eugh... I don't know whether to be freaked out or impressed by this thing._

Raymund sailed through the air before catching one of the many fruits with its mouth... Only to slip off the tree immediately afterwards with the fruit still in his mouth. I panicked and was just about ready to jump in to catch him, but as it turns out, my help wasn't needed.

Just before he hit the ground, Raymund caught himself mid-fall on a stray branch... with his lip... It certainly gives a new meaning to the phrase "stiff upper lip" doesn't it?

 _..._

Er... Chika?

 _Sister dearest?_

Yes?

 _N-No offense, but I think I get the general idea by now..._

Ah! My bad. I suppose this has been going on for quite a bit.

In any case, after the tree incident Raymund dusted himself off and went back to his usual business. I did spend more time observing him, and even came up with the name 'Raymund' for him along the way, but all you need to know is that Raymund is very good with his hands and is friends with a fly.

 _O...kay..._

At any rate, after all was said and done, I had resolved to bring him back home with me. Perhaps it was because I'd spent most of the day observing him, but I'd become rather attached to him. So, with that in mind, I devised an ingenious plan to capture him by cobbling together some materials I found around the forest to make a fool-proof trap.

I stopped by the lake where I'd first caught sight of him. He'd made it a point to pass by there a few times while he'd been walking around the forest, so I knew he'd come back eventually. I set up the trap and hid behind a bush as I waited for him to show up.

It... may have taken a little over half an hour before he showed up, but as I thought, he did return to the lake and quickly took notice of the trap that I'd set. He approached with caution, eyeing the trap suspiciously for several seconds before finally doing anything.

Finally, he stood up with the most serious expression I'd seen on him and...

 _Don't tell me... He destroyed the trap?!_

No, he took the box and used it as a hat.

 _WHY?! Does he have some weird fashion sense?! Wait, what was that about a box?_

N-Nothing! You must be hearing things.

Consequently, that was also around the time I decided to name his species the 'Blubox'. Not for any particular reason, mind you...

 _R-Right... And then what?_

Oh. Well, you see, I was so surprised that I flopped out of the bush and onto the dirt. He approached me instantly after striking a kung fu pose.

I panicked for that lone instant, unsure of what to do, until an idea came to mind. I took out another- err... I took out _a_ box from my inventory and presented it to him.

 _And that's how you got him to come with you?_

Oh, no. He slapped me in the face and I practically broke down in tears, but he felt so bad about it that he gave me an apple. We bonded from there and I brought him with me back to the basilicom.

 **Blubox Origins!**

"And that is the story of how I met Raymund," the CPU said as she finished her tale. She poured herself another glass of milk and drank it to help ease her throat after the rousing round of storytelling. "Do be sure to treat him well."

The "Blubox" now known as Raymund popped his head up from under neath the table and gave Chika the dopiest look imaginable. She only responded by blinking at the odd frog-like creature. Without a word, he inhaled whatever was left of Chika's breakfast and sank his head beneath the table once more.

All the while, Chika gave her CPU a blank stare, unsure of what to say. After a bit of consideration, she finally spoke up. "Sister, I'm not so sure it would be a good idea to keep this... odd creature around the basilicom."

"Oh, you worry too much," Vert assured. "If he doesn't like it indoors, then we'll make a place for him outside the basilicom. We can learn more as we go."

"I still don't think this is a good idea," Chika replied. "This thing sounds like a total trouble-maker. I don't trust it!"

Now if only Chika had noticed it winding up its arm...

 **SMACK!**

"YEOW!"

"Chika! Are you alright?!"

"No- This thing hits like a-"

 **SMACK!**

"OOOOOWW!"

"I think he likes you, Chika."

"I'm gonna kill him! I'll kill him! I swear, I will-"

 **SMACK!**

"AAAAAARRRGH!"

 **Blubox Origins!**

 **A/N: I'm still alive, don't you worry. Sorry about the months long MIA period, but anyone who's followed me has heard that a dozen times by now.**

 **In any case, this story was sort of inspired by JakandJim's "What If" story. Mainly just wanted to try my own take on the idea. Probably not my best one-shot, but I hope y'all still like it. I'll try to get back into Purple Lovers soon enough, don't you worry.**

 **And with that, thank you for reading. See ya in the next one.**

 **-Draco**


End file.
